BFF

BFF = best friends forever right?

That's what I thought... Trevor has been my best friend for like ever... I can't even remember a moment from before he was in my life!! EVER!! And yes we messed up and dated in high school but that was 2 years ago the way I saw it we were still best friends... I mean ask anyone who knows me and I guarantee they would tell you Trevor is who I consider and always will consider my BEST friend FOREVER!!

Well he hasn't been answering the phone lately or texting back or even been on facebook so i was getting worried! So I sent him a text message that said "Are you even alive lol" and I got one back from him that said "I started talking to someone... I didn't want to lead you on..." WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Dude if we are "BFF" then why the hell does that matter. And I straight up told him a while back look I would like to be with you again but at the same time I would rather have you in my life as a friend more than anything!! Not a big deal right... I thought he understood... WHAT EVER!

So I'm so hurt... he is the only person I have out here. Everyone else is gone... he is the only one who has known me the longest, and known me the best. He knows all my secrets, my fears, my hurts... everything...

Trevor if you read this... I know this sounds creepy but you are my best friend! And I would do anything not to loose you! You know all the stupid forward you get like real friends don't bail you out of jail there sitting next to you! YEAH remember that!! Who was there for you and with you through it all!! I need you. You saved my life numerous times, you helped me when I was down, you got me to stop doing the stuff that was hurting me. In a non sexual way Trevor I love you as my friend!

On another note... I may be moving to New York eventually!! YAY! But until then... Olathe is good for me.

Oh and I don't know how much longer im going to be with B... things arn't going well I don't think... whatever.... Me and Thomas will never work out either... But who knows I guess im going out with Jay this weekend.... sigh... craziness.... OH and Matt really peeved me today and if you look at my facebook you will understand why!!!

Can't wait till I can start counting down the day's till surgery!!! SO CLOSE!