Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Hardest but happiest convo of my life...

Me

Hey you, how are you doing?

02:22Anna

drunk...but other than that awesome

02:22Me

lol sweet lucky

02:23Anna

well then i'm sweet and lucky every night...

02:23Me

Hun are you okay?

02:24Anna

nope...

02:24Me

whats wrong?

02:24Anna

someday i might be...but now...nope

02:24Me

Im sorry

hugz

02:25Anna

I'm an alcoholic who doesn't know how to be alone and wishes the one girl i want to call me and tell me she loves me

but i know that will never happen so i drink every night so I can actually sleep and dream about her

02:26Me

Well if you need me... no matter what... i am always here for you... i know i used to be a shitty person... but i would like to think i have changed... and if it means anything... there is a part of me that loves you anna

02:26Anna

you're a very very silly girl then

02:26Me

why is that?

02:27Anna

take that part of you and throw it away...as far away from you as you possibly can

02:27Me

I dont think its ever going to go away... its been there for what... 6 years now!! lol i think its stuck... and im happy like that

02:28Anna

yeah well...I'm a pretty idea that only comes with pain and loathing...you'd do yourself well to just get rid of whatever I am to you...

02:29Me

I dont buy that anna... when i was with you i was happy.... monika skank whore whatever you want to call her is nothing but pain, and psycho what not... there is a difference

02:31Anna

you weren't with me long enough, then. I've been nothing but pain to anyone i've ever been with. And unfortunately one got to me before I could get to her...and I don't think I'll ever be the same again...

02:32Me

Well I really am sorry about that, and I wasn't lying when I said I am here for you if you need me... and I have no plans on going anywhere. I have been through hell and back more than most people can imagine... and the way i see it im still standing... there is nothing any one can do to ever hurt me again... i wont let it happen... im not dumb enough to let it happen yet again...

Bad things happen but you have to learn from them hun... thats what makes you stronger... pain is a part of the game

02:34Anna

Lucky you. I wish I could say the same. I would stand on my porch every day until the day I die waiting for her to show up and tell me the words she'll never say to me. And I will stand out there every day, drunk as sin...

02:36Me

Not to be creepy... but why do you think I tried so hard to talk to you for so long... I know i fucked up with you... im not dumb... and i hate me for it in a weird way... I wanted SOO bad to be back with you for sooo long... i know it will never happen... but im okay with that now... things will get better trust me... you just have to hang in there for a while and know that there are people that love you

02:37Anna

the only people who love me are people who don't know who or what I am...they don't know what i'm capable of.

02:38Me

No one ever really know what any one is capable of love is giving someone the chance to destroy you and trusting them not to.

02:39Anna

well, i'm done trusting anyone to not destroy me...everyone already has...

02:40Me

Like I said I am sorry Anna... but I am also here... And i believe that one day you will be okay again and learn to love agian... it happens... I still miss Katie like non other!! But im okay now...

02:41Anna

I'm glad you're ok now. I hope to be ok someday

02:41Me

and trusting may always be hard... its still really hard for me... i think it always will be... monika fucked that up... but trust is weird... love comes easier... I know you will be okay someday I have faith in you... hugz

02:42Anna

im glad you do, I've lost faith in just about everything...

02:44Me

shit happens... i guess thats all I can say... i know your strong you have always been hard headed lol... and hey everytime i watch finding nemo btw i laugh and think of you!

02:45Anna

lol. you would.

that's a great movie. i think of you everytime i watch it too

02:45Me

lol just keep swimming just keep swimming... is coming to mind as of now

02:45Anna

lmao

02:45Me

lol laying upstairs on your couch lol!!!!

good times :):)

02:45Anna

lol...that really was good times

i wanna go back to then...

i don't wanna be a grown up anymore

02:46Me

No kidding or like changing in your truck while driving down barry road to go to the cast party!!

02:46Anna

hahahahahah

that was awesome

02:46Me

lol!!!

I know right!!!

02:46Anna

why didn't we fuck?

we had so many opportunities

02:46Me

I dont know I still wish we did... Im still dying to lol

SOO many!!! lol

02:46Anna

we totally should

wanna fuck?

02:46Me

Im so game lol

02:47Anna

lol

i'd rock your world

you wouldn't ever wanna fuck anyone else

02:47Me

You are still by far the hottest chick ever lol!!! in my mind haha

Im sure you would

02:47Anna

of course i am lol

am pretty fucking hot

02:47Me

lol of course you are

I so miss you!!

remember making out by the stairs pissing people off in school lol... i wanted you so damn bad

02:48Anna

lol....i wanted you too

02:48Me

We need to hang out bad! lol

02:48Anna

agreed

02:49Me

:):) I should pick you up bring you to my house we can like chill, drink, watch finding nemo and see what happens lol!

02:51Anna

lol. i'm pretty sure a lot would happen...not while watching finding nemo though cuz i can't do anything to disney...it's awkward lol

02:51Me

LOL me too!!! im excited!

No comments:

Post a Comment